When Everyone Else Seems to Be Having a Better College Experience Than You

Posted: August 25, 2026

College students enjoying time outdoors on campus

Your roommate already has weekend plans. Someone you met during orientation seems to have found a close group of friends. Your friends from home keep sending pictures from their campuses, and when family members call, they want to know if you are having fun.

There may be plenty of good things to tell them. Maybe you like one of your classes more than you expected, or you had a genuinely fun night with people from your dorm. At the same time, there may be evenings when everyone seems to have somewhere to go and you are sitting in your room wondering when college is going to start feeling the way you thought it would.

College can make other people’s social lives unusually visible. You hear plans being made down the hall. You see groups walking into the dining hall together. You open your phone and see pictures of parties, football games, study groups, and new friendships.

When you are surrounded by those glimpses into other people’s lives, it can start to feel like everyone else has figured out college faster than you have.

That feeling can be painful, but it does not mean you are doing college wrong.

Whether you’re attending Rutgers-Camden, Rowan University, Rowan College at Burlington County, Camden County College, or another South Jersey school, adjusting to a new place, managing academic expectations, and figuring out who you are in a different environment can take time.

The College Experience You Expected

Most students arrive on campus with some idea of what college is supposed to be like, even if they have never thought much about where those expectations came from. Stories from parents, siblings, and friends can shape them. So can years of seeing college portrayed in movies, television, and social media.

Once you arrive, some parts may feel exactly as you imagined. Others may be much harder than you expected.

Sharing a room can feel exhausting when you are used to having your own space. Having fewer hours in class may sound freeing until you realize how much planning and self-direction college requires. Then there is the challenge of building a social life in a place where most relationships are still new.

You might have a good conversation with someone after class and wonder whether either of you will reach out again. You may have people to eat dinner with and still miss having someone who really knows you. A friend from home might recognize that something is wrong from the way you answer the phone, while your new friends are still getting to know those parts of you.

When you expected college to feel exciting and fulfilling, loneliness or uncertainty can come with an added layer of disappointment. You may begin wondering why you are not enjoying yourself more or assume that everyone around you is adjusting better.

There is also a lot happening beneath the surface that you cannot see. Among students who considered leaving college, 49% cited emotional stress and 41% cited personal mental health, both more commonly than financial strain. Seeing someone surrounded by friends or constantly making plans tells you very little about how they are actually feeling.

When Comparison Starts Feeling Personal

Comparison becomes especially difficult when observations about other people begin shaping what you believe about yourself.

“I haven’t found close friends yet” might gradually turn into “I’m bad at making friends.” A difficult exam might leave you questioning whether you are as capable as you thought. A Friday night without plans might make you wonder whether you really belong.

These thoughts can feel convincing, especially when you are already lonely, anxious, or overwhelmed.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is one approach that can help you recognize these patterns and understand how your thoughts can influence your emotions and behavior. If you start believing that no one wants to spend time with you, for example, reaching out may begin to feel more vulnerable. You may withdraw to protect yourself from rejection, which can leave you feeling even more isolated.

College can also challenge parts of your identity that once felt settled. Maybe you were one of the strongest students in your high school, and now you are surrounded by people who were too. Maybe you were known as the outgoing friend who always had plans, and now you are starting over somewhere no one knows that version of you yet.

It can take time to find your footing when so much of what once felt familiar has changed.

Figuring Out What Is Actually Making College Hard

When several parts of college feel difficult at the same time, it is understandable to reach a broad conclusion such as, “I hate college,” or “I chose the wrong school.”

Sometimes it helps to get more specific about what is feeling difficult. Sometimes it helps to get more specific about what is feeling difficult.

You might notice that Sunday afternoons consistently bring a sense of dread and consider what you are anticipating about Monday. If weekends feel harder than weekdays, you might explore whether the lack of structure or social plans is contributing. You may genuinely like the friends you have made while still comparing your quieter social life to what you thought college would look like. A difficult roommate situation might also make your dorm, which is supposed to be a place to recharge, feel uncomfortable.

Different parts of college life can affect one another. Academic stress can make it harder to socialize. Loneliness can influence how you experience the entire campus. A lack of sleep can make everyday challenges feel more difficult. In some situations, you may also come to realize that the school itself is not the right fit for you.

Understanding what is weighing on you can help you identify the kind of support or change that may actually make a difference.

When the Adjustment Is Affecting Daily Life

There is no deadline for when college is supposed to start feeling comfortable. Adjusting to a new environment and building meaningful relationships often takes longer than people expect.

If anxiety, loneliness, stress, or changes in your mood are beginning to affect your sleep, concentration, coursework, relationships, or ability to care for yourself, talking with a therapist may be helpful.

You do not need to understand exactly why you are struggling before reaching out. You may simply know that you feel overwhelmed, anxious, lonely, disconnected, or unlike yourself.

Therapy gives you a place to better understand what you are experiencing and what may be contributing to it. Pressure around grades, for example, might connect to a longer history of tying achievement to your sense of self-worth. Difficulty finding a sense of belonging might bring up earlier experiences with friendships, family relationships, or other situations where feeling accepted has been complicated.

Those connections are personal, and they will look different for everyone. Therapy can help you explore them at a pace that feels manageable while also identifying practical ways to navigate what you are dealing with right now.

Therapy for College Students

At Mind, Body, and Soul Therapy & Counseling, we understand that college can hold excitement, opportunity, stress, loneliness, uncertainty, and change, sometimes all at once. Our approach to therapy starts with getting to know you as a person and understanding what has been making this season of life difficult.

We draw from evidence-based approaches while also making room to explore the emotional, relational, and personal experiences that may be contributing to how you feel.

For a college student struggling with comparison, therapy might include noticing the thoughts that show up before walking into the dining hall alone or deciding whether to text someone and make plans. You might also explore why approval, achievement, friendship, or belonging feels especially important to you and how past experiences may be shaping the way you see yourself now.

Depending on your needs, therapy may incorporate approaches such as CBT, DBT, ACT, relational therapy, or insight-oriented work. We work collaboratively so that therapy can reflect your needs, goals, personality, and experiences rather than expecting you to fit into one particular approach.

You do not need to have college figured out before asking for support. If this experience has been harder, lonelier, or more overwhelming than you expected, Mind, Body, and Soul Therapy & Counseling is here to help you better understand what you are going through and find a way forward that feels right for you.